Next stop: Thailand, country of my favorite cuisine… My second time in Thailand, the destination was Phuket and the islands.
This time, we made it through customs successfully, and even scored a SIM card on the way out of the airport. Living in the early 2000’s was fun and all while in Vietnam- always on the search for WiFi, as our only connection to the outside world… but we were ready to be back in 2019.
We joined several others on a minibus, which dropped us off at our hostel: Bodega Phuket Party Hostel and Resort. We were to stay there the night before our tour and the 2 nights after. I initially booked this hostel, thinking it would be an easy way to push Jordan onto other “Partiers”… My famous line, “This is my friend Jordan. She likes to party too!” Then I walk away, and go to where ever my bed is that night… fingers crossed I didn’t just create the plot for the next Lifetime Premiere movie.
But Bodega, oh God. You sucked. If you’re 19 and never had a drink before, go, have fun! You’ll love it… All day, and night… Running down the hallway, yelling, “SHOTS!”… Spending your days and evenings, drinking in the pool, never having to get out to use the bathroom? I find that hard to believe after all that liquid. Thank God, we had a private room… I don’t even want to know what goes on in those dorms. Eck.
Later, checking out the outdoor market, I had a fresh, pineapple and coconut smoothie, before our pharmacy run… After checking out the lobster stocking up on Aloe, we went into preventative mode, also stocking up on sunscreen, aloe, mosquito repellant, and well, more bandages 
We had dinner, and I finalllly was able to drench all of my foods in sweet and sour sauce. Thank the Lawd. Thinking back, that was the problem in Vietnam. All their food was served with a side of fish sauce….
While at dinner I confirmed our 2 day, 1 night Island Tour for the next morning. All good. HOWEVER, an hour later, I get a WhatsApp, that due to a late confirmation of our hotel, they were cancelling our tour and would rebook at a later date. The hotel was confirmed during booking- back in December. A screaming match later, I yelled over the phone, “That’s it… I’m calling the BBB and Chase.” What a bunch of jerks.
At 5am, the next morning, I woke to a man standing in our room, staring at us. WTH?! He came into our room, to tell us our tour pick up was waiting outside for us. The same tour that canceled on us, placed us on an entirely different tour, without our knowing. Over it.
We needed a new “one night” plan, so we decided to go fancy after yet another scamming. We decided to throw down for a night at the Phuket Grand Mercure. And how grand it was… Checking in with truffles and lavender juice… Relaxing music being played throughout the open air lobby… a concierge ready to help schedule our next days tours… and a plethora of pools and cabanas ready to be used. They also have the most incredible flavors of Mojitos… And, yes, we tried them all.
Grabbing a pool side lunch, the afternoon was spent in the water, swimming up to the swim up bar at leisure. This was a true, Thailand vacation. Finally.
That night we hit up Bangla Road. We took the complimentary hotel “bus”, walking through the square only to find a family talent that should be the next best thing on “Americas Got Talent”, although I question the sanity of these children’s parents. Babies, being thrown off a pole, hundreds of feet off the ground.
Bangla Road. Khao San Road on steroids, which I didn’t think possible. I honestly thought this whole time, a ping pong show, involved “ping pong balls”… not 99 other acts along with it.
I stuck with beer. Beer brought to me that I could crack open myself. This was the last place on Earth I would want to get roofied. Think “Deal or No Deal”, but instead of winning money out of a suitcase, women stand on a grandiose, red staircase, that you can bid on to buy for the night… There are bars surrounding, where you can drink and watch this all go down.
Other bars, men and women stood outside with whips and chains, and would smack those that walked by. My look read, “Don’t you dare even try”, and they backed away.
How western parents, any parents, could bring their wide-eyed babies, toddlers, and children to this street, casually strolling up and down is beyond my comprehension.
After a few beers, we headed back to luxury.
We were scheduled for a noon pick up for the Elephant Sanctuary, and until then hung out by the pool and had our first amazing breakfast in 7 months. I never wanted to leave the Grand Mercure.
The Elephant Sanctuary…. So many feelings. We were able to get up close and personal with these adorable animals, feeding them bananas and sugar canes.
Our only instruction was to not get too close to their ears or “backsides” as that is how they show excitement and happiness… resulting in you getting a bit pushed around… Apparently, some people never listen. Shrug.
Our next task was to give the elephants a good scrub in the mud, and then go into the freshwater pond with them to wipe them clean. With open wounds, this part really stressed me out. The mud pit… I can’t even begin to describe the texture of the bottom… It was gooey and felt like webs. I posed for the few necessary photos and was the first one out. The freshwater pond wasn’t as bad… swimming with other adults is one thing, but with large animals… I dunno. It wasn’t my thing.
On the way back to Bodega… we chatted with others from our tour. We only got one night to be fancy When we approached Bodega, I yelled out to our new friends, “Sorry guys, this is our stop. Back to hell! …. Have a great vaca!”
It may have been Wednesday night, pub crawl night at the hostel, but as we had a 5am wake up call for the sunrise island tour, it was an early night! No shots or ping pong shows for us!
Due to our original island tour being a sham, we booked a highly rated tour through tripadvisor. Our bus picked us up and with about 12 others, were taken to a marina. Still dark out, we boarded a speed boat, rushing to our first island (Khai Nai) for breakfast and the sunrise.
We visited another island, to snorkel. After realizing we were way too shallow, and I was basically just wallowing on coral reef, I opted to hit the sand to work on my tan. Shortly later, I was awoken to head to our next island. Beach naps are the best.
We stopped on one side of Phi Phi Island, to go snorkeling and swimming. The guides threw pineapple butter cookies and watermelon deep into the waters, to attract the fish. It was so cool holding these cookies and pieces of watermelon in my hand, having hundreds of fish rush towards to have a nibble.
We went to the other side of Phi Phi Island, where we had lunch and swam. We visited a few of the other islands, including Bamboo and where The Beach was filmed. It was such a relaxing day, and the varying blues of the water were breathtaking.
Back at the hostel, I wanted to nap, Jordan wanted to go to the pool and or beach. House divided.
I eventually went along with Jordan, only to stop the pouting. The Phuket public beach was crowded, dirty, and similar to Mexico, with the walking vendors. I felt less trusting of that water, than Bodega’s pool.
We had Indian for dinner, and finished with an hour long massage. SE Asia, your massages are the bomb.
My last day in Thailand, Jordan went on an all day tour and I hit the market for one last shopping spree. Can’t wait to wear all of my finds on my next trip across Asia 🙂
Later Bodega. It’s been real.
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